You ever check BandCamp.com for new bass music? Me neither, but today, after my food poisoning settled, I was desperate for a change of pace, a new routine, something different – easy on the stomach. While stumbling around BandCamp, I realized the search options changed or at least flew over my head. Searching by tags is the most straight forward method of finding music in your specific niche.
While searching the term “Neurohop”, a term coined by Kursa to describe the combination of neurofunk sound design over halftime or hip hop beats, I discovered “Bract Thought” by c r o u t o n..
Crouton, a salad, something easily digestible after a day of food poisoning. Sounds good. Well… sorta. Expecting contemporary neurohop funk or ‘Tipperesque’ glitches, I was fortunately mistaken. Instead, I found something grittier, rougher around the edges, dark – embracing the shadow. While the introduction, “Bract Thought”, sets the aura with mandolin plucks introjected over sludgy, halftime static; Crystalline washes onto shore with wet reverberations, crunchy-crisp bass lines and whiplashing intrusions, setting the stage for the real party starters, “Fiber Expanse” and “Triplicate”.
“Fiber Expanse” is your grandfather’s favorite copy of Beethoven falling into the hands of alien-AI during a non-voluntary abduction, prompting the invaders to translate the CD into the alien’s native tongue, for proper analysis. A glitched and gurgled asphyxiation. Thundering drum and bass beats over distorted barrages from another dimension. A mind melting meditation where I suddenly realize: “Those were no ordinary croutons.”
“Triplicate” is the result of your alien abductors discovering you’ve mistaken the cockpit as a “restroom” and refused their routine anal probe, suggested once a year by any intergalactic physician. Pissed, your alien captors make a one-eighty split back to Earth at bone burning speeds. A boot to the butt, and you’re teleported home, only on alien terms, cell by cell. Particle by particle.
Descending into halftime hell,
c r o u t o n. demonstrates why he’s secretly our favorite part of any salad. A salad of saturation and weaponized wubs. Crunchy, cosmic collisions rivaling the extra crunchy peanut butter in my kitchen.
“Optic Sludge” is another hiccuping, halftime Hercules. An ominous opera leftover from our alien visitors. Wonky and weird. If you enjoy hefty hip hop percussion, tense ambient sound design, and static-stuffed slappers to the likes of COPYCATT and FREQUENT, why would you skip “Bract Thought”?
How should I end my project, a producer may ask, halftime or DnB? “Flare” concludes, why not both? Capitalizing on a love for beats of all speeds, why not satisfy both sounds? The high intensity, chaotic atmosphere of drum and bass to the head nodding hits of halftime. “Bract Thought” proves why no salad, and no playlist is complete without a c r o u t o n. or two.
Seriously this project is awesome, and I’m glad Bandcamp threw the recommendation, hell yeah. Shouts out any victories for BandCamp. One of the only sites that isn’t extorting artists…yet.
Also check out the c r o u t o n. YouTube page for breakdowns, singles, mixes, and more!
Once I heard the granular growl in “Basket Case” I knew we were headed for greatness.
VCTRE hardly disappoints, one of the leading names in experimental bass and collaborating with the likes of EAZYBAKED, Mr. Bill, Omnist, OkayJake, Minnesota, Sumthin sumthin, and Black Carl!, VCTRE infuses an irresistible energy with forward thinking sound design and emotional composition begging for a re-listen. VCTRE is the real deal, through and through, with SoundCloud releases dating back eight years. In fact, VCTRE is a major reason I fell in love with contemporary bass music. With releases like Enemies, Do It Live!, and the Tiedye Ky Earth Remix, VCTRE became a household name in underground bass music, and that was before an onslaught of longer form projects that solidified his talent, including Animagus, Palindrome, Toad Juice, and East Kings Point. Everything VCTRE touches turns to gold, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.
A master of commandeering moods, VCTRE utilizes tracks like “Up In The Joint” to build intensity in the listener, guiding through ominous beats and subtle build ups. VCTRE is a genius at creating tension and keeping the audience engaged through composition and creating setting. He doesn’t need to sling banger after banger of the most high energy tracks to accomplish his task of captivating a new fan, he just needs to master the art of storytelling and connection, which I’ve never seen VCTRE fail.
I remember hearing “Reverse Naes” for the first time at a Resonant Language show at Warehouse on Watts. VCTRE opened and featured an arsenal of unreleased tracks and I’ll never forget this song. My head did a 180 degree split toward the stage. Everyone in the audience turned their attention and dialed into the artist at work. The energy is downright cool, menacing, and futuristic, seizing you by the throat. The epitome of bass music, Reverse Naes is ferrsure one of the hottest bangers of the year, most likely featured on a plethora of local and friendly USB drives across the country. A testament to the reason we all love bass music. Bass. A mountain, brick wall, wormhole of bass to the face. We love it, we’re here for it.
“In My Head” is another reminder that VCTRE is capable of any musical palette, ranging from absolute psychotic banger to ambient emotional overtures, VCTRE knows what he’s doing. This range of emotions provides a stunning setting for a live set, as the audience is exposed to the highs and lows of life and everything in between, a musical expose into the mindset of the producer and into the complexity of living.
I would never miss a VCTRE set if I were you, it doesn’t sound like beeps and boops, it sounds and feels like music. Real music. This isn’t soulless commercial EDM, this is the future of listening. EDM gets a bad reputation for being repetitive, drug music, and VCTRE is here to put the reputation to rest. While his music is outrageous in a club setting, in fact absolutely bonkers; it also suits the audiophile, headphone listener all the same. This is heady, introspective music for all settings. This is for the music connoisseur. Not to mention VCTRE DJ’s with half of his body due to a diagnosis of cerebral palsy. You’re telling me VCTRE’s putting on twice the show with half the body at work? You’re kidding me. This puts the Mad Decent Block Party to shame. It’s about the music, not how you’re moving on stage.
VCTRE doesn’t get by on cheap thrills, cheesy drops, and overworked sound design. VCTRE is a master producer, showcasing years of hardworking and talent in order to bring an original project to the table. And does he succeed? Listening to his finale song, “Crash Course” the brilliance of the project comes to light as he expands upon the bass blows of Reverse Naes and the ambient landscape of “In My Head”, proving one last time that VCTRE is a popular word in underground bass venues across the USA.
Not to mention I heard the guy share’s his production tips and tricks in online classes. Sick.
We’re always awaiting a VCTRE release because we know the chance of disappointment is low. Crunchy, distorted, halftime beats and introspective symphonies, Reciprocity affirms VCTRE’s playing in the big leagues.
“What in the fuck?!!1” I said after listening to the latest J.Lang EP, Protonoid.
What a gloriously glitched out and galactic ride. From the beginning, we’re assaulted with whirlwinds of malfunctions, swirls of static, barrages of bass. Hold onto something, because you might lose your grip. J.Lang portrays a world of dubstep we’ve never witnessed and lets listeners know early, “we aren’t going anywhere familiar”. Freak Sauce Hot Tub is an exclamation point after a beefy “Mean Mug Protocol”. Lurching bass lines, wonky treble, whimsical pads. Alien textures. We’re being teleported. Whether we like it or not. One squelch at a time.
“DUMPSTER SLUT” doesn’t disappoint, pushing the boundaries of saturation (I mean seriously these basses compete with riddim) before settling into oozing neuro and amplified, psychedelic fuzz. This is pure wizardry.
While J.Lang masters the contemporary glitch hop bass line, he’s arranging the sounds into something we’ve heard only on the heaviest of our acid trips, connecting with the deepest of dimensions, in the darkest parts of our minds.
On his website he claims a decade of experience producing computer music, and there’s no denying what we’re seeing is the result of hardwork and talent, combined. If you’re interested in the Tippershere of music, aka Tipper & Friends, you’re doing a disservice leaving J.Lang out of your vocabulary. Expect many shows many lineups, many festivals. Guy is ear candy.
A Denver local, J.Lang is somebody we shouldn’t take our eye off.
Tracks like Weaponized Bonkers remind listeners that J.Lang is in full control, we’re at his mercy, but from the looks of it, he’s taking us for a good time. A damn good time. This is emphasized with Goop Squad Paradise, featuring bass lines that cut like vinyl scratches, edging listeners into a nostalgic b-boy scene from the 1990’s. J.Lang is proving his ability at time travel, and he’s not shy about sharing the experience. This is for the acid heads, the wooks, the mushroom enthusiasts, and audiophiles alike. Anybody with an ear for production greatness will appreciate J.Lang’s “Protonoid”.
In a world where a lot of artists sound similar, here’s something new for your noggin. Tracks like “1-STEPPAA’” will remind you of the railing you’ve been holding onto for the entirety of the project, while breathing life into your vessel one head nod at a time. For as wonky a project, the EP remains danceable, groove-able, noodle-able, throughout its thirty minute duration. I envy in glee at those fortunate enough to experience a J.Lang set on a pair of Funktions, Hennesey’s, Stanley’s, and the like. This is sound system music. And deserves to be heard on a worthwhile rig in front of eager listeners.
What a treat. I stopped writing reviews for a while, so for a project to grab my attention like this, forcing me to write a blog is rare. So I appreciate the original material. Also, shouts out the album artwork, a digital foreshadow into the alien-cybernetic world’s we’re destined to witness under the guidance of J.Lang.
This project slaps, don’t believe me? Here, why not give it a listen yourself?
Here is a list of my favorite Bass Projects (EP/LPs) of 2024
41) Kizer – Recursion EP
Looking for something that quenches your music listening thirst? Try the Recursion EP from Kizer. Tracks like Abnormal and Enhanced are especially keen to my appreciation for glitch. This whole EP stands together as something new and interesting in the field of bass music. Don’t believe me? Why not give Kizer’s Recursion EP a listen for yourself?
40) Zach Christ – 𐘲(𐘨)𐚎𐘲𐝥𐃀𐘡𐘴𐝂.
Zach Christ resurrected the dopest hyper-glitch soundscapes I’ve heard in recent times. This project is absolutely bonkers and deserves a listen from any self-proclaimed introspective listener. I return to this project often when looking for inspiration or queues on how to produce the nastiest and dirtiest glitch. Looking for something different from your average bass tune, something experimental and abrasive? Look no further.
39) VANM – ACTIVATE EP
I don’t know why I like riddim, but I do… something about the feeling of marching the collective unconscious with alien sound effects over thick sub bass and repetitive, lurching beats. It’s quite obliterating. Speaking of obliteration, here’s VANM’s ACTIVATE.
38) Ooga – Brain Legs EP
Ooga blesses listeners with a party in our ears, bringing the fiercest beats we’ve heard from the caveman. What’s going on? Ooga sounds like he’s waging cave war with a rival tribe. We listeners wish a safe and speedy end to this war, but in the meantime, our ears are extremely pleased with the inspiration.
37) Crawdad Sniper – Mellifluous
I’m adding Mellifluous exceptionally late, and honestly it deserves higher in the list, but wasn’t something I found until today. But Mellifluous is from 2024 and I want to make sure it gets recognition. These grooves are funky and exciting to the ears. I needed Crawdad Sniper in my vocabulary much sooner, shame on me. Really digging this project. While I gravitate toward the heavier and grittier, Mellifluous scratches an itch.
36) Aweminus – GURNVILLE EP
Featuring massive sub bass, chaotic drops, variety in genre, Aweminus slams the goofiest dunk we’ve heard in awhile. This project is wonky and head rattling like mid 2000’s tear out dubstep. A nostalgia is present throughout the project, from the bleeps and bloops of Gurnville to the drum n bass of “All The Way Down”, this project satisfies many needs across many genres.
35) Isotropic – Refraction Spaces
I discovered Isotropic dwelling in the land of hyper glitch, a term coined by Woulg and fellow glitch.cool artists. A term to describe the morphing of bass and intelligent dance music. I enjoyed this project, a combination of emotional ambiance and far-out, IDM inspired sound design. Isotropic is easily the most underground on the list with a total of 75 followers, but the project inspired me to push sound design, and fine tune my ambient drone. “Refraction Spaces” is less danceable, and more of a cereal, heady experience, daring the listener to buy the ticket and take the ride.
34) BackLeft x Phunk Bias- Amateur Hour [WPN009]
Looking for heavy neuro drops, punishing glitch-scapes and funky fun? This halftime project is what you’ve been awaiting. Upbeat, funky halftime beats to rock there soul from two heavy hitters in bass music. What an unexpected surprise?
33) EXECUTIONER – CRAWLER IN CRAWLER
Executioner is one of my favorite names in dubstep and has been for a while. I was pleasantly surprised to see the release of “Crawler In Crawler. EXECUTIONER delivers just like his name implies, beheading sound design and chaotic atmospheres. If you’re looking for the darker side of dubstep, look no further. EXECUTIONER is a treat from hell.
32) J.LANG – Shenanigans EP
This jawn bangs. Four cyber bangers loaded one after another. Didn’t learn about J.Lang until recently and I’m thankful I did. Check out the review of his latest project, Protonoid here. Constantly upgrading, J.Lang is a force to be reckoned with in experimental bass music. We’ll be on the look out for more releases. Check out J.Lang’s release on BEET RANCH.
I mean holy shit. Not to mention J.Lang’s Overcomplicated EP released only a few months prior. This guy’s on fire.
31) Pluto Era – The Deep Breath
Pluto Era’s ability to capture mind-melting bass lines, psychedelic atmospheres, and uncanny compositions are a must listen. Take a trip with “The Deep Breath”, an under appreciated album, drawing inspiration from the Tippershere while still maintaining individuality and a unique sound.
30) SVBLIMINAL – THANATONAUT
I owe SVBLIMINAL for aiding my transition back into riddim. She runs a popular instagram account, showcasing new WIPS, riddim chops, and behind the scenes madness. She’s hilarious. And her bubbly personality, ear for good music, and quality content keeps me returning. THANATONAUT breathed fresh air into the riddim scene, opting for a thematic concept album, something a bit different. Get lost in the void as we confront our deepest fears with SVBLIMINAL.
29) WRAZ. & MYTHM – CLOAK AND DAGGER
This project is fire. Front to back. Banger after banger from two certified dub masters. If you’re looking for a refreshing take on riddim, this project is for you. Seriously, can’t for another collaboration. Is that possible?
28) BackLeft – Gene Driver
This was the first project I heard from BackLeft, and guess what? I’m a fan. Featuring kick ass halftime beats, neurohop neurosis, and original composition, this project is nuts. Heavy, to say the least.
A foreshadow of much more to come.
27) Soulacybin – Bug Eyes
Another name I regret not seeing last year. Soulacybin proves why he’s not another “Tipper Clone”, pushing original composition, psychedelic atmospheres, and upbeat bangers, see why Soulacybin’s making a name for himself in bass music. The Philadelphia native is proof the local scene has nothing but potential.
26) Sqonk – Groovy Smoothie.
Despite a terrible year, there were silver linings. Seeing Sqonk was one of these silver linings. A talented producer, it feels like somebody’s filling my car’s gas tank with pure liquid LSD. High octane, ignition on. Let’s get groovy. Highly recommend this up & comer. A Pennsylvania native, when not occupying a music studio, find Sqonk roaming the Appalachian Mountain ranges like a true PA legend.
25) Hokey Boi – Upturn
Have you heard of Hokey Boi? You will after his latest project “Upturn”. Hokey Boi brings the bangers, challenging listeners with textured bass lines. and psychedelic intrusions. There was no shortage of Hokey Boi last year, dropping multiple EP’s but finishing the year strong with “Upturn”.
24) Fika – Deprivation EP
Fika, who the hell is Fika? Dropping two EP’s within a few months, Fika stuns listeners with overweight bass lines and bellowing beats from halftime hell. Like somebody’s trying to fit a floppy disc in a USB port. If you’re into groovy mind-melting lunacy, this is for you.
23) Humandala – Toasty In Happy Computer // Bad Operator
One of my biggest regrets is missing a Humandala show. What a project. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know about this project before “Happy Computer//Bad Operator”, but boy am I glad I showed up to the party a little late, regardless. If you’re looking for the freshest sounds is psychedelic bass music, look no further. This project is incredible.
22) BREAD WINNER – little songs
Does this guy ever disappoint? Seriously, funky banger after funky banger, this guy knows how to party. Wouldn’t recommend sleeping on Bread Winner. He’s also one of the more accessible artists on this list, less sound design mayhem and more danceable beats and grooves. Bread Winner is just that. A winner for 2024.
21) MYTHM – Mind of Madness
This is one of the first projects from 2024 I remember enjoying. Everything MYTHM touches turns to gold. Don’t believe me? Check out “Mind of Madness” and his riddim collaborative project with Wraz. This guy is dope.
20) Mr. Bill – Mechanomorphic
Does Bill even need an introduction? One of the leading influences in bass music, Mr. Bill proves why he’s always a relevant name in bass music, simultaneously showcasing features from Vctre, COPYCATT, Underbelly, and more. If you’re looking for an education in powerful production, Bill is always an option. I missed an opportunity to see Mr. Bill and I promised myself. Never again.
While not typically a fan of the more upbeat EDM sound, focusing more on the dark and dirty, Mechanomorphic has a track for everybody.
19) Hooligan – No Sight
I was excited for this release, following Hooligan’s work over the past years. Front to back, this is a strong example of strong beatsmithing: Textured Organics being one of my favorite tracks of the year. Stay tuned for more.
18) Herbalistek – Diraliavoid
Following the hype from Tipper & Friends, I discovered Herbalistek’s Diraliavoid. A victory for experimental dubstep, exploring liquid gold sound design and experimental beats. This album is different, uncanny, weird. Wet. Highly recommend for anybody brave enough to venture out of bounds.
17) Audio Goblin – Molting
Listening to this project recently, I would’ve felt wrong leaving “Molting” off the list. Audio Goblin is hot right now. There is no wasted space on this album, only a smooth journey. If you want the best in contemporary glitch hop, you have arrived.
16) Noer The Boy – Mr. Gibbons EP
Dude this project is amazing, seriously. Why is Noer The Boy so slept on? Noer constantly reminds us why he’s a ‘vanguard’ in psychedelic bass music. An innovator, pioneer, and inspiration to many, especially those of us who don’t understand music theory and rely on sound design and interesting composition.
15) Sighless – Roses of Silk
I loved this project. Neuro ambient horror. Experimental dubstep. Glitch. Sighless brings the intensity with Roses of Silk. If you’re looking for something intense, dark, and vibrant with creativity, this is for you. Heavily anticipating another release.
14) ONHELL – Sandía EP
I listen to this project. A lot. Its an easy listen, featuring crisp production and forward thinking bass. If you’re looking to explore the darker side of ONHELL, this is for you.
13) Ginseng – Miracle Surface/Catfish Conundrum
I love Ginseng. This guy knows how to produce, offering a downtempo and uptempo EP last year, Ginseng does it all. Because both EP’s capture such different vibes and atmosphere and both released in 2024, I’m including both on the list. Why not, the more Ginseng the better!
12) Swampz – CHROME TO YA DOME
This project fucks. A mixture of experimental bass, dubstep, and trap, this project rewinded to the days of Skepp & Hawk, the days of head nodding beats, and body numbing bass. The good ol days.
11) Hyper Heaven – Lord Genmu
This project was on repeat upon release. A Bleep Bloop feature, seriously? In what well did you find Bleep Bloop? Front to back, this project is exceptional in every way, filling a void in the need for intrusive, distorted bass music.
10) Nvctve – Viscera EP
Easily one of my favorite artists, and saw Nvctve open for Resonant Language. A life changing experience, this guy is the future of dubstep and halftime, often combining the two genres into something he calls “Nightmare Music”. Check this out, yo.
9) DIGITIST – DEMONSTRATION OF FORCE
The only EP I reviewed last year, due to various unforeseen circumstances. However, Digitist is probably my favorite name in dubstep. Powerful, lurching sound design that penetrates the soul. Aggressive, angry, minimalistic, yet simultaneously complex
8) Finding Balance – Deescawa
Who knew Russia had an underground bass scene? There were few projects I listened to as much as “Finding Balance”. This project is original as hell, featuring halftime beats, neuro funk, its hard to put a finger on the genre, drawing inspiration from across multiple genres. This project is dope. Moody with fangs.
7) NEWSENSEI – Look What They Left Of You
NEWSENSEI released music last year? Yeah, some 10+ projects. However, out of all the recordings, this was my all time favorite. It’s something about the Grateful Dead references, resurrecting bass lines, and simplicity. It’s a perfect project and received absolutely no reception whatsoever. A cult classic.
If you own a subwoofer, you’ll see what I mean.
6) Cloud D – Shelter From The Storm
Another underrated project, “Shelter From The Storm” proves why Cloud_D is one of the hottest names in bass music. Carving out his own niche, Cloud_D explores cloudy atmospheres, dark corners, and the macabre. A project that weighs emotionally on the listener, while simultaneously calling to action. This project is thought provoking, inspiring, and original.
5) MINDEX – Resurrection Machine EP
A testament to production skills, “Resurrection Machine” is what happens when you cross beautiful chords and lovely ambiance, with quaking bass lines, ominous glitch, and symphonic compositions. This is for the heady heads.
4) The Gaslamp Killer & Jason Wool – ANANDA
This is a real project? Yes, drawing inspirations from the LA Beat Scene to underground experimental bass, this project is a testament to inspirations like the Low End Theory venue and Flying Lotus. This project feels wholesome. Nostalgic. It’s less danceable, more reliant on a vibe.
3) Onyx Garden – Xenophyonophore
I’ve been following Onyx Garden since his project CNXDRSON, and can tell you nobody saw the Onyx Garden project coming. Rebranding and releasing multiple albums, Onyx Garden proved he’s one of the hottest names in bass music and idm, drawing listeners into a completely original world of textures, landscapes, and emotion. This is a truly special project.
2) Mickman – You Have To Start Somewhere
Mickman’s cheerful, upbeat energy is palpable on his releases. The vibrant producer proves time and time again why he’s risen to festival headliner, featuring a wide array of emotions and production influences, Mickman’s “You Have To Start Somewhere” is proof Mickman’s no fluke. Proof Mickman’s only getting started. Listeners were teased with bits from the album on the Mickman Mini Mix and were surprised to find a completely new arrangement of tracks on “You Have To Start Somewhere”. How sick.
1) Seppa – See It Through LP
I was fortunate to see Seppa last year, which meant I heard “See It Through” played live. Silly me, I didnt even know Seppa released a new album and was floored when I heard the tunes over a professional sound system. Upon the shows conclusion, I stayed glued to the LP for the remainder of the year, and continue to listen. It’s not difficult to see why Seppa remains a pioneer in the genre of neurohop/glitch hop.
After nearly a month inside a psychiatric hospital, I found it tricky returning to Ableton. While I didn’t ‘forget how to produce’, my skills were rusty and I was forced to find my footing. The order of the tracks is the order each song was created, showcasing my transition from the hospital and back into reality. From a rough patch to some of my more interesting material; the half an hour EP is a showcase of where I stand currently as a producer, hiccups and all.
While not originally satisfied with the project, I didnt promote anything. However, after a few more listens, I’m ready to create videos and begin the process of marketing and showcasing thebadboob.com, once again.
The EP is a mixture of neurohop-glitchhop influences, to the more experimental and IDM side of bass music. All the while taking note of OTT in the world of dubstep. It’s my most aggressive and ambitious project to date; centering on punishing high ends and quaking lows, the project is a glitch-nightmare, showcasing new techniques in sound design and composition. Also, shouts out ZONE DRUMZ for the sample pack. Despite my desire to learn complicated from patters, sometimes a loop from ZONE DRUMZ breathes life into my projects. Thanks again.
I was hospitalized. Snatched by the police and placed inside the nearest psychiatric ward. While I couldn’t produce music or videos, my summer drawing rebounded and was not in vain. No computer or camera, instead crayons and pastels. I created roughly 244 drawings and uploaded here on my website.
(Also available on Instagram)
I’ve expanded upon my raw cartoon/doodle style into a genre I’ve coined “naive-expressionism”. The combination of self-taught, childish aesthetics with an aggressive, unrelenting barrage of emotion similar to the Neo-expressionists and artists like Basquiat and Karel Appel. The designs are intuitive and raw, showcasing the importance of “staying present” and “aware”. This art style is also a release of negative upon a canvas or paper.
A safer target than practiced in the past.
Stay tuned for more pastel drawings and paintings. I’ve discovered my style. The drawings produce themselves and I’ll accumulate between 5-20 pictures daily, although I switch between faces and childish landscapes, to darker cartoons and graffiti tags. Each art style requires the same energy of spontaneity, living in the moment, and pure creativity. Although the different themes allow an exploration of different emotions, ranging from pure anger and rage to longing and stillness, to peace and tranquility.
Interested in purchasing a piece of art? From watercolors, to pastels and crayons, to paints: all of my artwork is available for purchase, and many are framed and ready to go at your convenience.
A series of angry essays. Why? Primarily because my parents were molesting my finances. Things were tough with election season. Overstimulation from the neighborhood, various events. Whether its the cops looking for a criminal. Fights in nearby households. Whatever, I’m tapping into events. Furthermore, I’m tapping into personal conflicts before they happen. Fights with my parents, typically. I use cannabis— never been able to find a suitable living spot to calm the intensity. The cannabis keeps me motivated, productive and allows me to fight through the vibration which leaves me sick, lethargic. It’s no surprise to my parents I require money for the cannabis. Its what I’ve always used and doesn’t carry the pharmaceutical side effects. No creativity, no sex drive (related), no will power. Complacency, ill.
Sometimes I go over the budget, but sometimes I get hit with additional costs in life. Mainly periods of time when I don’t sleep. Overstimulation, incoming events, whether national headlines, personal conflicts, or something in the neighborhood. Trembling, shaking. Things become physical, more involved. I eat more frequently, gut brain. There aren’t many remedies besides concentrated cannabis, munchies on munchies. I know when I’m tapped into something because I wake up at five in the morning, starving.
When I ask for help and i’m refused, there’s not much I can do. Not much I can do when the vibrations are blanketing the air. Not much I can do when i’m hunched over ninety degrees. “Make more art” my therapist and I thought. Wrong. Despite drawing after drawing. Despite track after track. Essays too. There’s no relief. I’m tapped into something, and it has the ability to shutdown my days.
There’s no security in the weekly allowance, because my parents have full control. Typically my mother has full control, which means there’s no wiggle room, despite being moved to a troublesome location. It was a rentable VRBO. Was I allowed to rent the VRBO for a night or two before a literal purchase? No. That’s too much. Now i’m overstimulated everyday. Who cares, I guess. A fight on social media has the ability to cause shaking attacks, trembling. What does a traumatic event in the neighborhood accomplish? Who knows. Assassination attempts on presidential candidate who working class people are reliant? In the Poconos?
Parents threatened to remove my allowance entirely after posting the “Coming Clean” essay. I fought back and argued its my story and my life and there’s an important message underneath, but they didn’t want to hear anything and are obsessed with the “family’s preservation”. So after thinking about the consequences, I removed the blog from my website. Fast forward, here I am again, not able to grocery shop, buy my cannabis, pay my subscriptions because they’ve refused my allowance despite granting their wishes. What’s the point in taking down the blog and staying quiet? What’s the point in repeating this cycle over and over again?
There’s no reason to keep the blog removed if they aren’t going to keep their end of the bargain.
THE BADBOOB, that’s how they like me. Causing problems, dysfunction. Giving their boring, loveless lives some entertainment because the house is quiet. Is that their motive, the goal with fucking with my finances? To cause an uproar at the cost of everybody around them? Who knows, but I certainly never rule out the option. How can I?
So here I am, they haven’t sent the allowance. Won’t answer my call. Won’t answer my text message. I removed the blog and for what? So they can exert power and control over my situation?
No I can’t work a job — extremely intuitive, psychic. If my mom loved me as a child, she would’ve communicated my gift to my father and opted to live in the countryside, away from the cities, away from the busy roads, away from the noise. Helped me develop and understand the gift. What’s the role of parents after all? Anything to do with helping develop your children, their personalities, their gifts. Their skills, their boundaries. Helping the child to understand their place in the world? What a load of shit!
“She probably didn’t notice”. Children are dependent. Children need caretakers. Observers. I find it difficult to believe a mother doesn’t observe her child’s personality, especially when I’m saying things like “why do I feel this warm feeling in my chest” or “why do I feel sick and upset right now”? Imagine being told to lie to yourself every time you feel an intuitive hunch. For year after year after year. Since the days of your birth. Programming your mind to never trust itself, ever. So here I am. Basically recovering from mental illness. Bad programming. A virus.
The other perspective? The one I find on reddit.com/r/empaths? I have the intuition because I come from a family of liars. Intuition reads through the lines, the bullshit, and into the truth. God’s own lie detector. Intuitive empaths often originate in broken homes, a response to dealing with an uncertain environment. A theory. Certainly.
YOU WENT TO SCHOOL! And I returned home everyday, overwhelmed with energy, told I was “being too much” or “bipolar” because of my shifting moods, shifting vibrations. Broken windows, punching walls, throwing objects, temper tantrums. Behinds the scenes activity.
YOU WENT TO COLLEGE! And I was medicated to fucking shit and spent the majority of my freshman year going to the emergency room with medication side effects getting IV’s stuck in my arm, catheters stuffed down my penis, mediations lunged into my throat. Anti psychotics, anti depressants, Benzodiazepines which were stripped cold turkey. Narcissistic doctor.
If you removed the posters in my college bedrooms, you’d find the knuckles marking plaster.
I did work in high paced restaurants seating twelve hundred reservations on holidays, and I actually enjoyed the chaos and intensity. But its detrimental to my health longterm, mounting sleepless nights on sleepless nights. Remember, my schedule is insane. A terrible vibration forfeits all sleep and working on zero hours takes its toll. It’s a snowball effect — becoming impossible to pull yourself into any operable health. Even my therapist, the son of a tradesman, mother was a secretary for Jimmy Hoffa, went to prison, who worked from the streets of South Philadelphia and onto the Mainline, Olde City — opened a private practice, said I should focus on art.
So I’m focusing on art but the process leaves me dependent and vulnerable.
A mimicking of childhood. An unescapable past. Oh, and the missing artwork from months at Sheppard Pratt Hospital doesn’t help either. Most likely thrown away. An act of revenge. A cover up. A neatly wrapped package including my art from a mental hospital.
My parents should think about installing my weekly allowance, because word is bond and if they aren’t going to then why should I stop posting blogs, why should I stop telling my story?
It would seem counter productive and extra boot-lickish.
If the blog is re-uploaded, my sister has nobody to blame but my parents, who insist on holding me financially hostage. When all I needed was an extra $70 or so.
*Warning: These are ramblings for myself. I have little to offer you as the reader.*
The tweet is self explanatory. We’ll put my story on pause, opting for another time, another place. Insights into modern psychoanalysis and childhood psycho-sexual development, the importance of understanding the phallic stage, will be ignored. Instead we’ll just make everything awkward and in vain. Everybody wins. How about a private journal? For later? To be continued? There’s a string of events which tie one story to the next. A logical timeline. A sequence. A book maybe? Who knows.
Anyway, I’d prefer not to migrate a website over to Substack. Social media ownership comes and goes. Terms of service — updated, Although Substack’s built a platform on preserving free speech, drawing names like Matt Tabbi, Matthew Shellenberger, Chuck Palanhiuk, Walter Kirn. Controversial, political, and establishment dissidents. The website is easy, maneuverable, and even allows video up to 20GB. A community, an algorithm, an aura of charged thought. A back up, at least, because you can never expect a hacker, intervening authority, or cyber event. Best to never keep all eggs in one basket. WordPress removed my blog within a single day or so of being notified. Substack held their ground. I repeat, Substack held their ground.
However, like I’ve said in previous posts, I’ll be showing people how to create a safer website. A website that preserves free speech, because I don’t think you should have to be dependent on Locals, X, Substack, or other social media platforms. These social media platforms have moderators, owners, investors, opposing interests. Shadow bans, warnings, suspensions, expulsions, surveillance. However, I could totally eat my words and end up using one of these pages in the future.
At the very least, it’s a back up page.
A website allows for the full portfolio: Video, Audio, Store, Blogs, Short Stories. Everything under one umbrella instead of hopping around sites. The goal is creating forums. A possible hangout, a chat for all things related to THEBADBOOB.com. I used to be obsessed with indymogul.com/. The forum page in particular. A website and YouTube channel dedicated to independent filmmakers. I’d hangout on the miscellaneous forum most days, shooting the shit, asking questions, getting to know other filmmakers. This was an impactful era of my life. I moved from RuneScape to Habbo Hotel, and then into the forums of IndyMogul.com.
I’d like to create something similar, unless using Discord is easier. Is Discord easier? Anyway work in progress, I’ve already created a Discord server, but it doesn’t prioritize the website. It’s another off-site application, another thing to remember. Although a chat requires moderation, so we’ll see.
Not a priority.
(Priority) Secure site: WordPress never returned my email. A major red flag and i’m mentioning this here. How can you claim you preserve free speech when you remove a post and threaten actions, yet refuse to return the site owner’s emails. Dumb, the whole thing is dumb. But I needed the litmus test, I was just surprised how quickly the site folded. Incentive to moving to another provider. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Time is counting down for my days on wordpress.com.
I can’t get any writing done in the morning or afternoon because I can’t hear myself think. It’s too loud. I’m picking up the highway and the rest of my neighborhood, the intersecting road between two towns, the trailer park next door. It never ends. A continuous thumping in my stomach, gnawing at my brain, anxiety tracing my nerves. It never ends. In the meantime, push through. Life is narrowing down tasks.
Things still feel terrible. I often feel sick. It never ends. But on the positive, life is narrowing down my tasks. Am I supposed to be writing? Yeah just not about certain subjects apparently. And not in the morning, and not in the afternoon, and you’ll be tired and exhausted by night, but that’s when you can write. At night, after you’ve spent the whole day running from a bad vibe, smoking, tired. Not writing. Great. At night, when everybody’s gone to sleep.
I’m accomplishing a lot. Not.
In fact, I’m hitting walls and slowing down and I don’t really want to shoot movies. And I’m receiving no ideas for writing and I don’t no where to go from here. I’m having a difficult time staying motivated, supposed to be pursuing movies but everything I do is solitary. Solitary.
Where do I have room for other people right now? I don’t. It looks like another dead end.
Difficult. Difficult to write. I start falling asleep while I’m writing because the vibe is so dense, so i’ve gotta smoke concentrated cannabis to continue writing. Everything written on my blog was written under the influence of cannabis. High, stoned, lit. Maybe a couple of the first essays I held back a tiny bit, but I usually wrote the endings stoned. Or started the essay a few hours after a toke. I can’t hear myself think otherwise. I’m trapped. I can’t hear. Myself. Think.
I wrote a short story the other night, but I fucking hate it, so I’m not going to finish it and I’m not going to upload. In fact, it was so terrible it inspired me to write the essay about my childhood trauma. The one that got me in trouble.
“This is an obvious sign I shouldn’t be writing fiction. Time to write the real shit.” I said to myself and began writing essays. I can’t hear myself think most days so its difficult to create a reliable world. I’m stoned, and I often feel terrible and sick to my stomach. I lose interest writing fiction. Why do I want to be responsible for a reader when I can’t keep my thoughts straight? I don’t. Right now my stomach is pounding, I feel nauseas. Sick. It’s nothing new, its everyday. It’ll never end.
Not sure where I go from here. I guess you’re going to get more stoned ramblings, more stoned short stories, more stoned music. More whatever. Can’t wait. Fucking head hurts all the time from a car accident, my eyes do UFO patterns on the computer screen, hands twitch and stutter from permanent injuries. It’s not the worst. I could’ve blown them up with fireworks or something, but they’re still fragile. They still don’t feel great. I’m still a writer, ya know? And I’m reminded of the stupid shit that happened everyday, every fucking time I try and write. And cant event tell my story, cant tell people why my hands are fucked up, can’t tell you what happened. Can’t tell you why I wake up and feel stiffness in my goddman hands everyday and glass shards pointing from my fingers. Anyway, enough complaining, you Jew. Kyke. Get your shit together.
Where do I go from here? I don’t know.
I’m supposed to teach myself how to write again, so as long as I’m behind a computer typing, or a phone tweeting, or a notebook writing. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing. But I’m meeting resistance from physical and mental dimensions here, and honestly, I’m fucking exhausted. It’s been years since I’ve slept in. Years. When was the last time? When I got drugged at rave. And I slept from eleven until noon the next day. Otherwise it’s been almost a decade of constant sleep problems, constant intuitive paralysis. Constant noise and chatter. Constant. Won’t shut up. Screaming. Yelling. Can my neighbors hear me?
In the words of my grandmother, “Annnnnywaaaaaay”.
Movies. Not a priority, right now, probably later. I think its a dead end. Is it a dead end?
Will continue writing music, listening to podcasts and we’ll go from there. I don’t feel myself channeling anything, writing wise. It’s more just ramblings like this.
Creating new roadblocks to prevent fascist, fucktard parents and other narcissistic entities from censoring THEBADBOOB.com. Actively being censored. WordPress.com is a joke. Where do we go from here? I’ve researched a new method to secure the site, soon, and Substack has decided not to censor posts. So I have options. I’ve taken down the blog post on my own accord and have started amassing journals instead, which can/will be published whenever I feel.
For now, a return to short stories, possibly short films but I honestly don’t feel like shooting anything right now. So maybe one day. Difficult to imagine shooting a movie when I don’t have the attention span to watch. I binge movies and then I don’t watch them again for years.
So it’s not a priority.
In the meantime, I’m reinvesting time into my mental and physical health. My hands won’t heal, concussion won’t heal, not getting enough sleep. Maybe I write something, maybe I don’t. Maybe I shoot something, maybe I don’t. Who cares.
I’m not in any rush.
Election season’s over, time to sleep.
Long season, bumpy ride. Long year. Many obstacles. I’m debating whether or not I pursue Substack and Rumble, alternatives. Alternative to shitty WordPress.
Am I responsible for my family’s denial of traumatic events. Hardly.
Am I responsible for their reactions? Hardly.
Do I care about the impact I’ve created? Yeah, wicked cool man.
Maybe you assholes should try therapy, losers.
I’ve worked hard enough over the past year, taking personal time. Peace.
Wednesday, November 6th, 2024 (Thoughts with a few hours of sleep)
Donald Trump is president. We’ll thank a vicious media campaign which resulted in multiple assassination attempts, increased division, and labeling half the country as racist, deplorable, Nazis. You didn’t have to be a psychic to predict the outcome of this election. People are tired, tired of the lies, tired of the bullshit, Tired of the same old.
Tired of ‘The Establishment’.
For years we witnessed Biden’s declining health, for years we were told to keep our mouths shut.
“Quiet,” they whispered, don’t you understand what’s at stake?!”
For years they weaponized Meta, Twitter, Google, and YouTube seizing opportunities to silence the opposition. Thus giving birth to Rumble, X, Truth, the rise of DuckDuckGo and Brave search engines. For years, they prepped tensions overseas, resulting in the escalation of two modern day catastrophes: Ukraine-Gaza, resulting in the death and displacement of millions of lives. For years, corporatists and globalists have pushed authoritarian-progressive policies to usher sensitive, naive-willed individuals into sacrificing their rights in the name of equality.
What’s at stake?
How about the entire fabric of our democracy?
One man’s presence, Trump, weaponized an entire system. Talk about what’s at stake. Hitler they screamed, parading images of Nazi rallies painted against photos of “Make America Great Again” on MSNBC, sewing seeds of hatred, of despicable divisions. Mussolini, Stalin, Hitler; we’ve heard it all.
How does this make any sense when USA Today reports “a realignment among Latino voters – and a smaller shift among black voters in key swing states – helped catapult Donald Trump to his presidential victory over Kamala Harris.” Some Hitler.
People are waking up to the man behind the curtain, the cogs of the machine, the puppet masters, the wealthy elite, the runaway financial institutions, unchecked military might, the oligarchs.
People are waking up.
Money and power have captured politics. Our Freedoms are under attack. Klaus Schwab’s future where you will “own nothing and be happy” inches closer everyday. The Black Rock, State Street, and Vanguard takeover. A future of authoritarian rule, ownership, slavery. A future reduced to anthill colonies, drone enforced work camps, forever wars, and the death of all dreams and ideas.
Dystopian literature exists for a reason. It’s not merely entertainment, but the individual warning from collective experiences, experiences of animalistic brutality, narcissism, chaos and control. Under authoritarianism, humanity descends in human consciousness; lowers in vibration.
Turns out people don’t want Schwab’s “angrier world”, turns out they don’t want the narcissistic hellscape they’ve envisioned for humanity, using puppets like George Soros and the Open Society to remove borders, open crime, and prepare for beckons of totalitarianism.
Fortunately for the New World Order, to capture the minds of woke, sensitive progressives; you just have to wave a gay flag above your firings squads, your death marches, your mass sterilization programs. You just need to convince leftists the other side is mean. Anti-gay, racist. When a majority of policies being rebuked are directed at children: Puberty blockers, surgeries, experimental therapy, enough is enough. Like JD Vance said, “I think we’re going to secure the normal gay guy vote,” because even the LGBTQ+ is beginning to question its narrative, its identity. Most people just wanted the right to marry and the right to be left alone. Not men in women’s prisons, bathrooms, sports. Not childhood castration, sexual indoctrination. You are beginning to see accounts on social media like Gays Against Groomers, Deplorable_Homo, BuckAngel, and Ariella_Scarcella, LGBT who’ve grown tired of extreme policy, childhood indoctrination, and open displays of sexuality. Keep your sexuality in the bedroom, keep your ideology to yourself.
Let children be children. Let women be women, men be men.
You’re not allowed to openly support Donald Trump without being cancelled in the electronic music industry, cancelled, no job, no money, nothing. Starving. How inclusive of the community. How democratic. “Well Trump is a fascist” and if you support Donald Trump that makes you a fascist- a racist, a sexist, a homophobe.
How lame. How….Stupid? The presidential candidate who represents more than half of America. A Nazi?
Is it a victim complex? Telling yourself you’re surrounded by Nazi’s.
A hero complex? Me against the world. Is it paranoia? I’m confused, does anybody have any ideas?
Again, when a majority of black and Latino voters arrive for Donald Trump, it’s considered fascism?
Do extreme leftists want to admit their brainwashing, their MSNBC programming? Do extreme leftists want to admit they’ve been captured by a corporate agenda? Do extreme leftists want to admit they’ve become extreme leftists? Where do extreme leftists get their news from anyway?
THE BADBOOB 