Have you noticed the influx of my releases lately?
Instead of releasing music last year, I mastered three tracks — a total waste of time, honestly. How do I increase my production fidgeting the same songs for a YEAR?
I don’t. I’ll take my chances producing a song a day. Always dreamt of being the lead singer of a punk rock band influenced heavily by Black Flag, The Descendants, and Minor Threat to be specific. Hardcore punk songs range from thirty seconds to a few minutes in length, a war of attrition. Track after track, an onslaught of anger and emotion. Elbows, shoving, mosh pits. A reverberation of chaos. Reminds me of artists like Midnight Tyrannosaurus, an artist who greatly influenced my dubstep journey.
Growing up, I experienced trouble finding musicians with similar taste, preferring to drum alone in my basement. However, as the drummer, you typically take a backseat to the writing process, which could’ve been argued given my lack of music theory and reading ability. I knew how to hit things quickly, keep rhythm, be a nuisance.
Discovering MASCHINE’s software, I produced frequently, but still only released three tracks. The POPE project amassed roughly 11 tracks all together over two years, stiffened by benzodiazepines, mood stabilizers, and anti-psychotic usage during my MDMA trafficking case. Overstimulated times.
After careful analysis of the SUPPLY EP’s release, I realized where I stood in the music industry. Nobody I know listens to bass music or IDM, a heavy influence on my production. Artists like Aphex Twin, Autechre, Hullabalo0, Kursa, EPROM and G JONES.
To make matters more difficult, I utilized my five year modern psychoanalytic education to confront narcissism, question transgenderism, and call out ghost production— landing me in boiling waters. Narcissists have distanced themselves or refuse to share my artwork based on the fear of ‘narcissism awareness’. The Philadelphia rave community and surrounding areas, typically left-wing-progressives are upset judging by the silent treatment, loss of followers, and direct messages.
However I’m worried about the current state of affairs: the implications transgenderism has on women’s spaces in particular.
I’m just asking questions.
How long has it taken to establish safe spaces and rights for women, and how quickly are we going to strip these spaces?
I get the vibe nobody local wants to associate or promote my work. The people who message for collaborations typically don’t follow my X or instagram, judging by the “its” and “thems” looking for work. The community hasn’t unfollowed me all together, I put effort into my delivery. I think they notice. However, nobody wants to get caught promoting the work of a “TERF” or “transphobe” in the rave community.
It’s often the local scene an artist gets their start, and that’s where I’m struggling. Artists I associated with are creating distance.
The cherry is my claim of being an intuitive empath. The “source” for “discrediting” the transgender/transexual community.
“How can this guy be psychic and transphobic?”
To me it kind of makes sense: Deliver truth to an unlikely and unwilling crowd.
A sensitive crowd.
The loss of support and lack of engagement isn’t detrimental, as I’ve only been producing beats consistently for one and a half years, three or four years all together. I became dependent on hardware synthesizers which I sold and overcame a years-long writer’s block. Less is more, especially when you grew up on video editing software.
Just means I have to work harder and spend more time delivering my message. Furthermore, I’ll admit the beats are still beginner and I shouldn’t expect too much praise. However… I do create my own sound design, visuals, artwork, and maintain physical appearances. The silence was deafening.
The majority of artists headlining underground bass shows have produced for many years. Seppa, Resonant Language, and Bandito Jones said ten to fifteen years when I asked. Kursa, around sixteen. Many openers are producing equally as long, given the size of the community.
Furthermore, what’s stopping Philly from creating a larger underground bass scene? The Rust and Aspire Higher provide great lineups, but highlight established artists, all star casts. The Universal Emotion makes moves in the underground, and I’d love to see them provide multiple shows a month! However, The Ave is proof for the potential of bass music, packing crowds weekend after weekend for less than twenty dollars a ticket. Hopefully we see an emergence in bass music- a rise in events and venues.
The greater the music, the quicker and greater the scene grows.
During these realizations I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to write music furiously, attempting to garner my own sound and reputation. My analyst, Dr. Anthony Tereo has assisted my understanding of the creative process. More reps, more sets. Creativity is a muscle, and while talent helps, hard work triumphs. Rick Rubin delivers a similar ethos on his Tetragrammaton Podcast. Even the most talented artists struggle to overcome their egos.
The ability to practice creating songs, beginning, middle, and end, has shifted the quality of each song I write. I’m subconsciously holding less material in my brain. No need to think about thirty unfinished songs.
Finish them in one or two days, move on.
Art is about releasing the emotion, for me at least. Release and learn. A tool for self-analysis. But first, for godsake release the goddamn emotion. My art therapist at Sheppard Pratt Mental Hospital, Terry, preferred I smash, squeeze, grind, and splatter when creating art. She wanted me to express myself, to really release the repression. Chinese Medicine teacher, Trina, who intentionally pushed my buttons on campus hikes. The woman who jumped in glee when I finally rebelled against her demands as she hiked my sick body over hilltops.
Anger, she was attempting to release repressed anger.
How do we release anger safely?
As an intuitive, I struggle with my emotions along with the emotions of the collective. A canvas is the only thing standing in the way of self-destruction, and with the emergence of AI, imperfections may be the distinguishing characteristic of human art after all. Raw, authentic, human emotion.
Journaling blogs, splatter paintings, analog glitch feedback, quick-furious beats, and dancing to new releases are ways I typically release anger.
Raves. Booming subwoofers, next-level visualizers, psychedelic mentalities, and people looking for a party. Often when I didn’t have a safe house, I wound up at a rave until three in the morning, a home away from home. Somewhere to dance, smoke, and hang – look at the moon.
Dancing especially. If you’ve meet me at a rave, you’ll find me standing next to the subwoofer, dancing for the next four to six hours. There’s something unmistakably healing, like i’m shaking off the bad juju!
What if we’re able to steer more troubled youth toward rave culture, safe psychedelic practices, artistic expression, music? Instead of self-destructing and falling victim to societies ills? What if the goal is to get more involved, build local communities, advance art and consciousness?
What if it all starts with you and your involvement?
THE BADBOOB 